It’s that time of the year again…

This is what I don’t get about Figure Skating… It seems you need to be a big name to get the big points.

When Kristoffer Berntssen took to the ice today in the 2008 European Figure Skating Championships, not many people gave him a shot. He put on a blistering performance however that was easily the best one of the 30 odd performances we’d already seen. Including Brian Joubert’s.

Yet Berntssen ended up in fifth place on the leader board. The commentators on Eurosport didn’t like it and neither did I. Ok so he has a certain lack of performance in his routine – he’s stuck somewhere between dramatic and graceful and badly needs to lean one way or the other because the middle ground just looks… wafty – but that was still the best routine we had seen.

Now I know you Joubert fans go a little nuts when I diss him (why?) but you know as well as I do that he did not perform to his best today. He’s been ill with gastritis (or gastroitis or gastroentoritis or some such shit) and quite clearly, he had only just recovered. He spent alot of his routine floundering around on the ice and looked generally exhausted throughout. And yet Joubert finished second in the rankings ahead of Lambiel who was far more impressive both in technique and performance. How can that be justified?

It didn’t exactly look like anyone in the male short program particularly wanted the victory today, so perhaps it doesn’t matter. But thank goodness for Tomas Verner who came out with an incredible performance that reminded me why I had just spent four hours watching men skate around in tight fitting clothes. (What, I need an excuse?)

 

Competition Time. Win $30 worth of Amazon.com Goodness! Free to enter!!

That’s right, you can win a $30 Amazon.com gift voucher just by entering our free competition. It’s open to anybody 18 or over who has an email account, so check out the rules below and join in!

To enter all you have to do is tell me why you love your favorite sport. In three words or less. It doesn’t matter what sport you love or why you love it but the reason must be no more than three words in length. For example:

I love football and my reason (one of them anyway) is “Unnecessary Roughness“. Having a foul for ‘Unnecessary Roughness’ implies that, in order to play the game, there is necessary roughness. Which is brilliant and humorous at the same time.

You can choose a facet of the sport, a player that you love to watch, or whatever you like, as long as it’s three words or less, it’s all gravy.  You can leave an explanation of your choice if you want. The winner will be the one that I like the best and my decision is final bitch.

The competition will run from right now to the 1st of July. Entries can be made by comment or by email to shottonothing[/at/]gmail.com and you can enter as many times as your heart desires. The winner will be announced on Monday the 2nd of July and will be notified by email (so remember to send me your email address if you’re answering via a comment!)

Good luck and thanks for taking part!

 

John McEnroe? More like Zach Thomas…

Alright, one more figure Skating post then I’m done, promise…

What is it about Johnny Weir? He hasn’t scored a podium place in either the World Championships or The Olympics and yet everybody knows he is one of the worlds best Male Skaters.

If you go to a Figure Skating event and ask people who they are most looking forward to seeing, chances are a lot of them will say ‘Johnny Weir’. And the announcers would probably agree with them. When Johnny takes to the ice there is an electric charge in the air, the crowd want to watch his performance, whether it be a winning one or not.

I’ve heard so many cliches used to describe Johnny over the last few years, ‘Marches to the beat of his own Drum’, ‘Doesn’t care what others think of him’ and the old announcers favorite: ‘He is the John McEnroe of figure Skating’. John McEnroe? Nope, I just don’t see it. Yes, he is an individual skater who won’t always go for the conventional approach to a competition, but there’s a very good reason for that. Just like there’s a reason you won’t see him push for the win at the expense of a good program.

That reason is this: Johnny believes in the performance, the heart and soul of Figure Skating. He’s got the weapons to win a World Championship; He can do the Quad jumps and he can do the spins that other skaters can’t even work out, but he doesn’t always choose to use them. Why? Because the Performance comes first.

And thats why the people love to watch him out on the ice. Nobody has the flair or the creativity that Johnny has. When he skates, you can see how into it he is, how much he lives for his sport.

What does this mean? Well sadly for his fans (like me, in case you hadn’t already guessed), we may never get to see him on the podium of either of the two major champs but at the same time, we’ll still love to watch him. No matter what he does, Johnny will always give you a great performance. That’s what he believes in and it shows.

 

ROUNDUP: World Figure Skating Championships 2007

Want to know what the most amazing thing about last weeks World Figure Skating Champs was?

Well, I’ll tell you anyway asshole: It was The Judging

For the first time ever the judges got the results spot on; no controversy, no lower results for U.S. skaters and higher for Russians etc. Unbelievably, every score was perfect and it really brought a touch of badly needed respect to the sport.

The womens competition was incredibly close and was a tooth and nail affair where one small slip meant you were off the podium. The eventual winner was Miki Ando (JAP) who skated a better Free Program then any other I have watched. There were no mistakes at all and she did something like 7 triples, which in case you don’t know, is kind of ridiculous. Second place went to Mao Asada (JAP) and third to sixteen year old Korean Phenom Yu-Na Kim.

Reigning world champion Kimmie Meissner came fourth after a small slip in one of her jumps. She made a heroic effort but she just didn’t have the weapons to compete this time around. I have a lot of time for her though, she’s a fantastic skater and, at seventeen, she’ll be back.

All in all it was a pretty damned good event, you should be weeping over the fact that you missed it. No, really.

 

Credit where it’s Due. But he’s still an asshole.

God, it really pains me to write this…

Brian Joubert is the new World Figure skating Champion.  Both his short and (especially) his free programs were flawless and there wasn’t another skater who came close to him. This was his championship and he took it in superb fashion.

But why can’t he be the dignified champion that skaters like Stephane Lambiel and Evgeni Plushenko were? Why do we have to be subjected to the double fist pump before the end of the routine or the ‘in your face’ roar that came before the competition was even over?

This is why I just can’t stand the guy and why he’s pissed off so many fans of the sport. He is a great skater but he’s also one hell of an asshole.

 

Reading this Blog could make you rich.

No, seriously.

In my Preview of the World Figure Skating Championships 2007 I predicted that the top three places would go to Xue Shen/Hongbo Zhao(CHI), Qing Pang/Jian Tong (CHI), Aliona Savchenko/Robin Szolkowy (GER) in that order.

You can confirm the result here but it ended up like so:

1. Xue Shen/Hongbo Zhao(CHI)

2. Qing Pang/Jian Tong (CHI)

3. Savchenko/Robin Szolkowy (GER)

Now, this can be taken in one of two ways. Firstly, you can point out that my figure skating knowledge is way too good for a straight guy.

Don’t be gettin’ any funny ideas though. I’m all about the clam baby.

Secondly, you can realise that the odds you could have got on correctly picking those top three were positively monstrous and if only you had bet on it you could now be alot richer.

Then again, would I take gambling tips from a straight dude called Sanchez who loves Figure Skating? No sir, I would not.

 

PREVIEW: World Figure Skating Championships 2007.

So, today sees the start of the annual exhibition of just how wierd my fandom can get. This looks to be a good year for it really, what with the skaters that I support all looking fairly horrendous and the ones that I hate all finding superior form. If my T.V. set lasts the whole week without a new dent or scratch appearing then it will be an absolute miracle.

And If Sarah Meier gets maced by the judges this time around then I swear by the almighty ice lord Thor, there will be hell to pay. I may just fly on out there to take my vengeance out on the swine in person (with the Eric Cantona kung-fu special attack perhaps) rather then indirectly attacking them via my… er… blog.

‘Cause you gotta have goals.

Anyways, on with the preview:

Men’s: It will be a sweet sweet turn of the books if Brian Joubert (FRA) doesn’t win this time around. He is the in-form guy and though his season best score is below those set by the Japanese pair Daisuke Takahashi and Nobunari Oda, they will have a job beating him. That being said, this tournament is being held in Tokyo and Joubert has a knack of clutching defeat from the jaws of victory in major competitions.

Evan Lysacek (USA) will also challenge along with Stephane Lambiel (SWI), but I can’t see either winning it. Lysacek is not as good as the judges in the U.S. want him to be and Lambiel has hardly competed at all in the season so far, so its hard to say whether he will be any good or not. As for my man Johnny Weir… well, with a seasons best of under 200 all I can say is ‘good luck’, and if you lose don’t worry, I’ll tell everyone you were screwed by the judges. Again.

Women’s: Now we’re talking. This year it’s wide open with several skaters all looking for that perfect routine on the night to take first place. The U.S’ Kimmie Meissner is the reigning World Champ and looks pretty good again this year but will face stiff opposition from Mao Asada (JPN), Yu-Na Kim (Kor), Miki Ando (JPN), the superb Carolina Kostner (ITA) and my personal favorite (and the woman of many all of my sexual fantasies) Sarah Meier (SWI).

What with this tournament being held in Tokyo and all, I would say it’s very likely we will see a Japanese triumph here. Which isn’t to say that it wouldn’t be deserved; Mao Asada has a massive seasons best of 199.52, now that would take some beating. But ehy, if Sarah Meier finishes in the top three, I’ll be partying all night no matter what else happens.

Pair’s: I’m just going to go right ahead and predict the top three for ya; Xue Shen/Hongbo Zhao(CHI), Qing Pang/Jian Tong (CHI), Aliona Savchenko/Robin Szolkowy (GER) in that order. And if it don’t happen like that then just call it biased judging and go back to surfing for pictures of hot ice-skating chicks like I will be.

Did I say that out loud?

‘Ice Dancing‘ doesn’t get a preview because Ice Dancing is shit. Rock n’ roll.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why I’m blogging about Figure Skating then you must have missed this post.

 

Reasons this Weekend Sucked Ass. (for me anyways)

1. Johnny Weir did not win the U.S Figure Skating Championships

2. Evan Lysacek did win the U.S. Figure Skating Championships

3. Sarah Meier did not win the European Figure Skating Championships

4. So far my mission to purchase a Boise State Cheerleader outfit for my girlfriend is failing faster then a Houston Texans draft strategy…

5. See number four.

 

Humble Pie and Cream

So, yeah, I had to eat some humble pie last night when Brian Joubert opened up that can of ‘walking the walk’ I was talking about and won the European championships in superb fashion BUT… 

I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about that. Not while two far more exciting things were happening in the world of Figure Skating. 

At the moment Sarah Meier leads the field after the Ladies short programme in the Euro Champs, which could mean her first big time gold medal. Also my main man Johnny is less then a point behind that slimy SOB Evan Lysacek after the men’s short programme in the U.S. champs. 

Ok, ok so we all know that Evan Lysacek is an immensely talented and young and good looking dude blah, blah, blah, but despite all that he can just kiss my ass ‘cause I hate him alright? How’s that for well balanced, unbiased sports reporting? 

The good thing is that Lysacek doesn’t stand a chance in the free programme and if Weir can smash him out the way for his Fourth U.S. Gold while Sarah Meier takes the Gold across the pond, why then all my figure skating dreams will have come true. 

Except the one where I’m getting it on with Meier whilst Weir records it on my camcorder. But I better not mention that one. Oops!

 

Brian Joubert needs to open up a can of ‘Walking the Walk’

Back in 2002 the French Skater Brian Joubert declared that he intended to win the Europeans, the Worlds and The Olympics all in quick succession. He didn’t.

Then just after Stephane Lambiel, the Swiss World Champion, pulled out of this years Europeans, Joubert lambasted him in an interview with ‘Eurosport Live’ (the things I’m reduced to watching…) basically saying that he had wimped out of a head to head confrontation with the Frenchman.

The thing is, after Jouberts incredible 6th place finish in Torino 2006, I’m not entirely sure any of the top male Ice Skaters, including Lambiel, are really all that bothered about Joubert. In fact the only one who seems interested in Jouberts recently average results is Brian Joubert himself.

With no Plushenko, Lambiel, Weir or any other big name in mens figure skating to compete with, you would have thought that Brian would seize the opportunity in this years Europeans. Nope. He fell early in his short routine and barely scraped his way to 2nd place in the end.

Sadly, this is just another case of an athlete who thinks he’s ‘it’ when, to everyone else, he’s just ‘**it’. Shut the heck up and skate Brian.